Schoolies 2023: Graduates unleash on Gold Coast streets

The Gold Coasts Cavill Ave, stinking of cooked meat from the many nearby grilleries, is abuzz with Schoolies in roughed up uniforms, looking like extras in the Britney Spears video clip for Baby One More Time.

The Gold Coast’s Cavill Ave, stinking of cooked meat from the many nearby grilleries, is abuzz with Schoolies in roughed up uniforms, looking like extras in the Britney Spears video clip for Baby One More Time.

If you were alive when that song was first playing on the radio, you’re officially old. These kids weren’t even born when it was released in 1999.

Now, they’ve graduated high school. And 20,000 of them have started to swarm the Gold Coast for the first weekend of Schoolies.

“Who came here to partaaaaaay?” a DJ yells into a microphone at the Schoolies-only party that’s thumping on the iconic Surfers Paradise beach.

Max Riley, 18, definitely did. He travelled far with his mates to “live it up”.

“We’re from the Mack four-seven-to-tha-oh!” he raps, when asked his hometown.

He means the regional north Queensland city of Mackay.

“Ayyyyyyy! Ohhhh!” his mates holler back in what seems like a regular call-and-response.

They’re all hanging on the street, waiting outside a kebab store for their late-night feed.

Less than 24-hours in and the boys are already facing the unexpected trials and tribulations that come with the real world.

“We had a bit of drama in the rooms,” Max sighs. “One of the boys lost his shit and f**kin’ broke his hand and smashed the door.”

Um … how? And … why?

“He was bein’ a hero. Actin’ bigger than he is.”

He punched a door, broke his hands, went to hospital. But now he’s stitched up and on his way back down.

Does hotel management know yet about the trashed door?

“Nah, so we’re gonna have to keep that one on the down-low until we leave,” Max says, flicking his mullet back.

His mate has a scheme.

“We’re gonna go to Bunnings and buy a cheap patch kit and patch it up,” the friend says. “They won’t know.”

The plan sounds foolproof.

Walls aren’t the only things getting smashed this weekend. Many graduates have been ravaging local bottle shops like locusts, stripping shelves of anything containing sugar and alcohol. The result? Let’s check in with this guy, who can’t tie a shoe let alone put on a flip-flop:

Local authorities say they’re seeing a decline in high-level alcohol related behaviour at the annual event, with no major incidents reported during the first night. Four school leavers will reportedly be taken to hospital for monitoring, after presenting to the Queensland Ambulance Service’s Emergency Treatment Centre.

Within the 50 minutes between 9.04pm and 9.52pm, news.com.au witnesses four graduates being taken away in wheelchairs by volunteers and medical teams. Spew bags are getting filled to the brim in the Chill Out Zone tents.

“It’s too early for me to be this drunk!” one girl yells to no one as she skips into the night.

Groups walk the streets clutching Vodka Cruisers and cans of the year’s most controversial beverage: Hard Solo.

“We’re not sleeping tonight!” a young guy screams to the sky.

Convenience store attendants are working around the clock to keep graduates satiated with overpriced staples. Hot ticket items? Panadol, Gatorade, slurpees. And condoms.

Speaking of which, The Condom Kingdom, a store specialising in, well, condoms, has been bustling all day. LIVE, LUST AND LAUGHTER, glows the sign on the shop awning. A giant neon condom with a face smiles down on the revellers.

Clueless holiday-makers and vacationing families stand on the sidelines – watching, mouths agape. They made the grave error of booking a relaxing getaway this week.

“We should’ve checked the calendar,” one dad says.

Meanwhile, the elderly residents of Surfers Paradise (read: anyone over the age of 35) have been shuttled to safety. The easy-listening music festival, A Day On The Green, is happening 62km away at a winery and busloads of old people have been escaping the city all day to be comforted by the headline act Robbie Williams. No doubt the scenes will be just as raucous as the ones taking place on the Glitter Strip.

“It’s been wild. A big one,” Rebecca Lace, a graduate who travelled down from the Brisbane area, says after midnight.

She’s catching her breath outside a kebab shop with her friends. The beach party has ended. She’s not kicking on. They’re all heading home and plan to sleep until 3pm.

“Straight into it tomorrow again,” she nods. “Six days straight.”

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